Six

hmmm...
Hard, that's what it is. Damn hard! This struggle within, tormenting me, pushing me to my furthest possible limit. Is there a way back? I got here right so you'd get the impression that there was perhaps a way back. Hmm, no I don't see it. I'm in the complete dark searching for a direction, a path, forward... back... it doesn't matter. At the moment I seem to be bogged in an area of quicksand. Slowly I sink down, deeper and deeper. " if you struggle you will die quicker" they say, but the emotional whirlwind is too much. I can't handle it, I need to get out, dead or alive! Painfully slow, the negativity is wearing me down. Beating me black and blue. It's winning... it's winning the fight to positivty... it's winning the fight for my life. Cry! I need to cry but the tears won't come. My capability of expression is somewhat blocked. My tear ducts are struggling while my insides scream out, begging for an outlet, begging to be released. I feel as though I just can't take it anymore! I am worn thin and my energy to fight is slowly becoming non-existant. "I've got to try harder", "I must hold on", These are , supposedly, words of inspiration... or are they words of a mere fantasy? Inspiration, hmm, now that's a foreign word to me. I don't feel like I have any inspiring thoughts or feelings. They have disappeared from sight, they are beyond my reach. Throw me a rope, or just let me drown! I think at this stage we all know what the answer to that is.