Today I woke up, obviously, and actually didn’t think ‘damn it!’ as a first response. Huge news hey! As scared as I am of all this, my thoughts are that this might be what recovery actually feels like. “Hold on tight crew we’re about to enter some mysterious, unchartered waters!” As I said yesterday, self-harm is a tricky little devil. Even just unpacking the dishwasher today was a little bit of a tempting challenge because of all the fun toys, or rather, different shapes and sizes of knives that were there. Hmm, so there it is. I am still twisted in the head but I will work on it. I don’t think that will ever really completely go away but I guess it would be nice one day to actually find a lovely lady who can just love me for me... I suppose I have to get to the stage where I feel I deserve that kind of happiness first. And of course, sort myself out so I won’t ruin it. I will keep this one short and sour only because I’m knackered and it’s my first day of my girlies so point taken hey, thanks.
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