Sunday, 3 July 2011

Forty Nine

                Oooh boy! Feelings are a very confusing part of this life. They flood you from head to toe and give you no means of relief or signs of easing. Is it possible to feel two opposite emotions at the same time? Yes. Is this easy? No, by far. I can’t tell if my deep emotions are the cause of my medication drop (and I mean a huge drop in meds) or other things. It’s a tough one, a mixture of both perhaps. Do I like it? I’m not sure. As they are opposites I guess the answer is yes and no. Yes because sadly feeling so flooded with emotions helps me diet better, sad but true and I guess fossilled in amongst there is a chunk of hope, hope that something great in the future may become true. No because I’m scared it won’t and my hope will be for not, also it’s powerful, and tugs away at my insides left to right, up and down to inside out. Feelings are very real and they don’t just disappear because we want them to or because life might be a little easier without them. No, they are here to stay whether we like it or not. All we can do is gather a wonderful support network of mutual respect and honesty and try to stay strong and more than that, learn to deal.

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